I startle awake and look around myself, bleary eyed and disoriented. I wonder what has pulled me out of sleep and reach over the bed to Mike, only to discover rumpled sheets and a still warm pillow. Ah, today is his early day on the ambulance and he is already gone. My turn to get the kids ready all by myself. I listen for a second and can hear the high pitched babbled conversation that signifies two very awake toddlers. I squint at the time display on the clock and realize that I am late, late, so very late.
Crap.
What to do first? Get the children up and ready or get myself ready? Realizing that they are happily content in their room, speaking in their indecipherable toddler-ese, I decide to take a quick shower. I know that if I were to get them ready first, my shower would be interrupted at least 5 bazillion times; the shower door will be thrust aside and a small head poked in inquiring "What are you doing, mami?" "Can you get me juice/cereal con leche/candy/bread/my toy?" So, I jump in and take a super fast deluxe shower. In 5 minutes I am toweled off, and half dressed. Why half dressed? Because I have no pants. None. The only pants I have that are clean and pressed are sitting in the dry cleaners. Ok a skirt! Skirt, skirt, skirt WHERE ARE MY SKIRTS???? Ah ok here we go....sheeeeeeeeiiiiit it needs to be ironed. Ok well that can wait, as I hear the babbling ratcheted up to near hysteria levels coming from the kids room.
I run into their room, dressed in a shirt and my underwear, hair still wet and scraped into a barely manageable pony tail-like contortion.
"MAMI!!!!!!!" "HI MAMI!!!!" - I am greeted by two happy bouncing boys. Literally bouncing on their beds, hard enough to make me wonder how strong those beds really are and if the mattresses had a voice, would they be pleading to "make it stop, PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY!!!???"
I send Nicky off to the potty while I wrestle Seba out of his Dinosaur Pj's, which immediately starts the howls and cries of "NOOOOOO I want it" because if he could, he would wear that pajama shirt with the dinosaur skeleton emblazoned across the chest on a trip to the freaking VATICAN, if I let him. Because that is his absolute favorite Pajama. For this week, anyway. Further wrestling ensues and a minute later and I have one fully dressed toddler, now consoled by the fact that he is wearing his favorite cookie monster shirt and shorts set.
I turn to look for Nicky only to find that he has not returned from his potty excursion. I go into the bathroom and encounter toothpaste. Everywhere. Attempting to squeeze the toothpaste onto his Wall-E toothbrush has turned into a fiasco. There is toothpaste on the floor, his hair, the toilet, and oh look, on my shirt. Super mom kicks into gear and I clean up the mess, strip off my shirt, give Nick a quick shower while simultaneously brushing both sets of teeth AND my own, get him back to the room, dress him and then we all run out to the living room. Ok, we are good on time. The babysitter is picking them up in 5 minutes. I throw the diaper bag together, I get their lunch (leftovers from last night) and snacks (cheese, apples a banana and granola bars) milk and sippy cups all ready. I congratulate myself as she rings the doorbell and I run downstairs to let her in. I am triumphant! I got everything ready on time!! I am SUPERMOM!
Why is she looking at me like that through the glass on the door? Is she...is she laughing? I reach up and smooth my hair as I unlock the door. As the cool breeze from the street wafts in I realize why she is laughing at me.
I am standing in my doorway wearing only my underwear. Sigh. Another day. I wave at my neighbor.
fin



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